Aloha - Countdown to Hawaii

3 weeks is all that stands in between me and the beautiful island of Oahu.  5 lbs. is what separates me and the last time I went to Oahu.  I overindulged while I was there big time!  It’s 7 months, and the weight hasn’t come off.  I also turned 37 shortly after my last trip, and I can tell my metabolism has taken a nosedive.  It’s time to make some changes so that I can feel confident in that bikini again.

First, I need to fix my diet. I’m good about not eating fast food all of the time, but I’m a lover of sweets and carbs.  I just started using The Precision Digital Kitchen Scale, and this thing has been a lifesaver!  I never went through the process of weighing my food before.  I am loving this scale!  It weighs items up to 11 lbs. and has a tare (zero) function if you don’t want to put your food right on the scale itself.  Best of all, it’s small enough that I’ll be able to take it with me on my trip so I can measure my food on the days that we eat in. 

Second, I need to change up my workouts.  I am a creature of habit.  I have had the same routine for years, just adding things here and there and making minor changes on occasion.  That isn’t working for me anymore!  It’s time to up my intensity in my workouts.  I’m going to be adding more stairmaster workouts in and ease out of running so much.  I will still be running 2-3 days a week, as it’s my therapy.  No one wants to be around me if I don’t run!  Lol.  I’ve been in a running funk lately, and for me, new gear helps get me out of funks.  I was so excited to receive the new Mizuno Wave Sky running shoes for free to try out and review.  To be honest, right out of the box, I was underwhelmed.  The color wasn’t doing it for me, and the toe box looked really narrow.  I have issues with narrow toe boxes squeezing my toes and having them feel like they're tingling and falling asleep mid run.  However, I put them on and tried them out for a short run.  Much to my surprise, they felt AMAZING!  It was literally like running on air, thanks to the new cloudwave technology.  And once I had them on, I discovered that I really liked the style and color.  I’m normally a “pink” person, and these were out of my comfort zone.  However, I took a few running photos and saw how great they look on the feet.  Give them a try, and I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Along with my new running shoes motivating me, my family and I are planning on running a virtual 5k in Hawaii through Flex It Pink.  This will keep me motivated to keep up with my workouts while traveling.  And as always, the run is for an amazing cause – it supports Mission 22, who’s mission is to help prevent suicide by our veterans.  

Third, I need to just chill.  I stress way too much over my weight and my appearance.  I’ve ALWAYS been that way.  While I need to continue to keep up with my workouts and healthier eating to stay healthy, I need to focus more on the health aspect and not so much on the appearance.  I need to throw on that bikini and enjoy myself.  I need to let go and know that it’s okay to indulge on occasion, and it’s ok to have stretch marks, rolls, and cellulite.  Life doesn’t revolve around what I look like in a bathing suit.  

So with that, Aloha!!!  Take me to my most favorite island in the entire world.  I'm pretty sure that the beaches on the North Shore will take  ALL of my stresses and worries away - at least for a little while!

In Loving Memory Of Our Sweet Rocks

I remember when your daddy said that he wanted to get a puppy.  We were newly married, I was young, pregnant, and had just moved thousands of miles away from my family.  I had a cat, Sebastian, who was my baby.  She was obsessed with me, and I was obsessed with her.  I didn't feel like I had any room in my heart for another animal.  But boy, you proved me wrong.

Your daddy picked me up from work, and we made the short drive to pick up our new $60 puppy.  I remember thinking that you had to be the tiniest, cutest thing I've ever seen.  But the stubborn person I am, I tried so hard to keep my distance.  I insisted that you were daddy's dog - not mine.  But seeing as how your daddy was at work most of the time, I was the one who took care of you.  I tried hard to fight off my love for you.  But it didn't last long at all.  You were so tiny, so cute, and those beautiful brown eyes just captured my heart.

As a puppy, you were just the sweetest thing.  You were always by our side, and you sure did love Sebastian. I can't say that the feeling was mutual there.  She loved to fight you and torment you, but you loved every second of it.

I will never forget the time that daddy and I were laying in bed with you on one of the first nights that we had you.  You were laying right in between us, and suddenly we noticed little worms on our bed.....your poor little body was carrying worms. Off to the vet you went.  Then you made several more visits because you repeatedly had ear infections.  But you were worth every penny spent.

You loved being outside.  We were so excited to leave our apartment and move into a house with a huge fenced in back yard.  The huge yard wasn't enough for you though.  You wanted to explore!  So much, that you would jump our fence and take strolls around the neighborhood.  That all ended when a pitbull decided he wanted to play and grabbed you by the neck with his teeth.  Luckily, you weren't seriously hurt.

You've probably moved more than most dogs in your 16 years.  Oklahoma, Maryland, Pennsylvania, back to Maryland, Hawaii, Virginia, then back to Pennsylvania.  You didn't mind, as long as you were with us.  You've seen other animals come and go.  And you took it with stride.  Eventually, as you got older, you got crankier.  You didn't like being around other animals, or having them come into the house.  You were all bark, and no bite, though.

You loved to eat.  I think it was your favorite thing to do.  Every morning, you would come downstairs, go outside, run back in and bark at me until I had your food ready.  You never missed a meal.  Eventually, that started to change.  No more barking and waiting impatiently for food.  Instead, it would take you a full day to just finish your breakfast, if you finished it at all.  You slept a lot - although you still followed us from room to room when you were awake.  Your poor back legs started to give out, which made it difficult for you to walk and stand on the hardwood floors, and made it even more difficult to use the bathroom.  You stopped enjoying your treats most days.  You could no longer go for walks - and you LOVED going for walks.  You couldn't even hear us when we said "go" or "walk" or "treat".  You didn't play with toys anymore, or chase after daddy or the kids when they would play "fight" me.  You just slept, or paced, or stared into the distance, looking so sad, and so fragile.  We knew that after 16 years, we had to make a choice.

You started having seizures quite often.  We had to start letting you out in the front yard so that you didn't have to use the stairs or the ramp.  We had to carry you up to bed each night.  We took you to the vet, hoping for clarity.  We thought that we would be leaving the vet without you that night.  But instead, we left just as confused as ever and brought you home, 5 pounds lighter than you were the last time we had you at the vet.  We celebrated your 16th birthday as best as we could.  But since you didn't seem to enjoy the things that you once did, it was hard to make your day special.  We went another month with watching you deteriorate.  You started vomiting more and eating less.  We knew it was time.  But we just couldn't seem to make the call.  Finally, daddy called to schedule your goodbye appointment.

The day came, and for me, it was the longest day of my life.  Your appointment was for 7:30 PM. All day, all I could think about was that it was your last day with us.  That I would no longer be opening the front door to let you out while I let your brothers out the back door.  That I would  no longer be filling your bowl with food, and that instead of pulling out 3 of each treat, I would instead only pull out 2.  It was a day full of sadness, anticipation, and second guessing my decision.  You had a really good day.  You had more life in you than what we've seen most days over the past few months.  And you ate all of your food.  You spent a lot more time outside than you normally do.  Rolling in the grass, which we haven't seen you do in a long time.  It made me wonder if we were really making the right decision.  But your eyes told me that we were.  You could see the pain and the tiredness in those sweet brown eyes.  We could feel nothing but bones when we pet you.  But it still did not make the decision any easier.

We got to the vet, and you were sniffing around.  You weren't bothered at all by the other dogs around you, when before, you would have been growling at each one.  After what seemed like forever, they called your name.  Instant tears for me.  I wanted nothing more but to grab you and run out that door.  But I knew I couldn't be selfish any longer.  The vet explained what was going to happen.  They gave you the sedative, which you could tell burned for a moment.  But I will never forget the look you gave me when the pain went away.  You looked like my sweet boy that I once knew - your eyes got big and bright again, and you gave me that sweet smile.  You were no longer in pain.  A few minutes later, they gave you the medication that stopped your organs from functioning. Your little heart stopped beating forever.  You looked so peaceful, just laying there.  It was so hard to leave you there, laying on that table, all alone.  I will forever wonder if we made the right decision.  Or if you would have rather had still be here with us, regardless of what you might have been feeling.  I feel guilty, like we could have done more to help improve your quality of life.  But I am trying to picture you in heaven, pouncing around like you used to.  Playing around with your toys, running, and eating all the wet food and treats that you want.

It's definitely rough being in this house without you.  Even Sarge didn't want to eat this morning, and he never misses a meal.  And Teddy refused to eat his food on your mat today until I finally convinced him.  We took his away and kept yours since the water bowl is there.  They're wondering where their brother is.

I love you so much that it hurts.  But I am so grateful for the 16 years of love you gave me, your daddy, your brother, and your sister.  I will love you always, Rocks. Rest in peace, buddy.