This post is going to be a bit different than most of my blog posts. But I wanted to let you into a whole other part of my life.
This past summer, I decided that it was time for a change. I was working as the Head Ambassador for Move More Fitness, but I wasn't able to get the hours that I needed. Therefore, I had to look for another job to supplement the income from Move More Fitness. I saw there was a position for a Learning Support Aide available in my children's school district. I really had no idea what it entailed, but the hours worked out great with my kids schedule, so I applied. I was called for an interview and learned that I would be working with children in the Autism Spectrum in grades 3 through 6. I have to say, I was really nervous and wasn't so sure the job would be a good fit for me. For one thing, I convinced myself that I have very little patience. Another reason was because I've never had experience with anyone on the spectrum before. I didn't think I could handle it. I had another job prospect that looked very promising, so I was hoping things would work out with that one, but that job fell through. I was offered the position in the Elementary school. I accepted, because, well, I needed the money. But I was far from excited. I didn't know what I would be walking into on my first day.
I was a ball of nerves when I walked into the classroom for the first time. I had no idea what I would be doing, how much the kids would interact with me, how would I handle meltdowns, etc. My sister also works in the classroom, and I remember her telling me how she instantly fell in love with the kids. I remember feeling guilty for not feeling the same way. Probably because of my lack of knowledge and anxieties. I'm not going to lie - the first few weeks were rough for me. I was ignorant about Autism. I was nervous every day for weeks walking into work. I just didn't know what to expect. What was I walking into that day? Do these kids even like me? I was one of those people that didn't understand Autism and didn't have any reason to research it to understand it before I started my job. I remember several years ago, my son was on a bowling league. There was a child there that caused such a distraction - constantly yelling and throwing fits. I remember saying that his parents needed to get him under control. I didn't get it. I was oblivious to the entire world of Autism. There is no "getting them under control". Instead, there is learning what sets them off, and learning by trial and error what helps them to get through an episode, or even learning how to prevent them. They are kids, just like my kids, and just like your kids. They deserve to be afforded the opportunity to play on a bowling league, play soccer, sing, dance, whatever they desire.
One of our students does not communicate by talking, but he loves taking walks in the school. I took him for a walk one day by myself, and he was very specific about which way he wanted to go (by pointing and pulling me). When I told him it was time to go back to the classroom, he threw himself on the floor and had a full on tantrum. I tried everything I could think of to get him up and back into the classroom, but he wasn't having it. I felt so helpless, and so clueless. How do I get this nonverbal child to tell me what he wants if he can't talk to me? Thankfully, a toy with music helped to end the tantrum and get him back into the classroom. I was a nervous wreck taking him for a walk for weeks after that.
A few days later, one of our bigger students had a meltdown, which included hitting pushing, throwing, and kicking. I remember how scary it was. This kid weighs more than me and has unbelievable strength. While I was not on the receiving end of his pushing, hits, and kicks,I was trapped in the classroom for about an hour during the entire episode (he was blocking the door). It was at that time that I started to ask myself if it was really worth it....a paycheck, while risking what could be a serious injury. We are not allowed to protect ourselves other than trying to block the hits and kicks, so did I really want to risk it? I decided to stick it out, and let me tell you, I am so glad I did.
Times sure have changed over the past few months. It just blows me away that I now walk into the classroom each morning and am greeted with "Hi Mrs. Beatty", followed by a detailed description of what is for lunch that day, then greeted by another student who then compliments my hair, and yet another one who comes up, grabs my hand, and greets me with a smile so sweet it could melt the coldest heart around. Not to mention that same
little grabby hands reaching into my purse to get my gum out and then signing for a piece after prompted. These kids make my day. Are there still meltdowns and tantrums? Yes! But do they stress me out and make me want to run for the hills? Heck no! These kids are amazingly smart, and they each have their own funny, adorable personalities. I love them like they are my family, and quite honestly, I don't know how I am going to make it through the summer without seeing them. They have taught me patience, understanding, caring, and a whole different level of love. I am a true believer that I was meant to have this job. This is exactly where I am supposed to be.
If you are like I was, and never took the time to understand Autism, or have ever thought the kids you see throwing tantrums and meltdowns in public need to be "controlled", then I beg of you, please do some research. Better yet, meet someone with Autism. I guarantee you they will change your heart in the best way possible.
Also, please join me and many other Autism supporters by "Lighting it up Blue" for Autism Awareness tomorrow, April 2nd, 2016. And don't forget that this entire month is dedicated to Autism Awareness!
https://www.autismspeaks.org/
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/autism/detail_autism.htm
Photo credit: http://www.ourtimebd.com/beta/2016/03/28/autism-things-we-should-know/
